When your first child was born, you probably realized that you were entering a new chapter of your life. That tiny baby that you held in your arms was in fact someone with whom you will have a bond for your entire life. As your child or children grew, you built a relationship with them, one moment at a time. Now that you are divorcing, that does not have to change. Although the schedule of moments that you will share with your child or children may look different than it did when all of you lived in the same home, each moment presents the same opportunities as all of the moments prior to your divorce did. Even if your new schedule gives you less time with your child or children than you are accustomed to, your bond can remain strong both now, and for years to come.
If you are able to focus on making your kids’ transition from their other parent’s home to your home as smooth as possible, you will set yourself and your kids up for a great visit. Calm and civilized communication before, during, and after pick-ups and drop-offs will set your children at ease. Once the children are at your house, remember that children thrive when consistent rules and routines are a part of their day to day life. It is likely that your children follow rules and routines at their other parent’s home that the two of you decided upon together before your divorce. Incorporating the rules and routines that your children are accustomed to into life at your house will help the kids feel safe and secure, and can reduce the likelihood of the behavioral problems that can, for some children, accompany a change in routine.
You may wonder what kinds of things you should do with your kids when they visit you, because you have such limited time together and you want to make sure that it is enjoyable. Some parents feel like they have to amaze their kids with extravagant outings and gifts when they visit, in order to make the visits more memorable. Fortunately, this is not true. In fact, visits that are too jam-packed with activities and excitement can be overwhelming for some kids. If you take care to ensure that visits are not crammed too full of plans and activities, that can help to keep everyone’s focus on being together, instead of making it through an exhausting schedule of events.
When you are thinking about what you would like to do with the kids during your visits, remember which things you have already done with them have brought you the most joy. If you and your child or children still enjoy those same activities, make a plan to incorporate them into your time together. Since children are always growing and some of their interests change often, another way to make sure that your time with your child is meaningful for both of you is to set aside time for you to just be with them, in comfortable situations like enjoying a meal together or taking a walk. You may be surprised at how much you can learn about your child and their interests during these simple activities, as kids are often eager to share details about things that they enjoy. When they mention things that are also interesting to you, make a plan to do those things together at some point in the future.
If you are a parent who is considering divorce, it is to your advantage to work with a Texas divorce attorney. To learn more about how we can help you with your Texas divorce, schedule a free consultation with East Texas divorce attorney Alex Tyra today. Call our office at (903) 753-7499, on the web to submit an online contact form.