Going through a divorce is difficult for anyone, but for parents with a divorce case underway, it is even tougher. Specifically, parents have to attend to their own feelings about the divorce as well as the feelings of their children. In fact, not only do they have to figure out how they will manage the day-to-day details of their own lives, they also need to do so for their children as well.
If you are a parent and you are involved in divorce proceedings, you may have questions about how to handle some of the emotional and practical effects that your divorce will have on your children. Throughout the course of your divorce, two questions are likely to remain at the forefront of your mind – what do your children need from you, and how you can ensure that they get it? The good news is that if you have already asked yourself these questions, you are probably providing your children with all of the support that they need during this very challenging time. Notwithstanding, there still are some specific things, described more fully below, that you can do to reduce the impact that your divorce will have on your children.
The most important need that all children have during a divorce is to feel loved and accepted by each of their parents, and to feel as if they are just as valued and important as they were before the divorce. Keeping intense discussions, arguments, and other negative interactions out of the earshot of your children can prevent unnecessary feelings of guilt, or of having to choose a side. Children should not have to take on any parental roles or duties, or make any decisions, such as the decision about which parent they will live with.
Another very important thing that you and your soon-to-be-former spouse can do for your children during your divorce is to keep your daily and weekly routines as close as possible to the way that they were during your marriage. From a child’s perspective, routines and familiarity create a feeling of safety and security at a time when they need it the most. Temporary orders from the court can help you to preserve your family’s routines and schedule during your divorce.
When you are involved in a divorce, strong emotions may make it difficult for you to “keep it together” and to effectively move forward. However, your children need you to be brave and strong, and to keep on conducting business as usual. In order for you to do so, you must take care of your own emotional needs. Talking with friends and family, going to therapy, exercising, writing in a journal, or spending time outdoors can all help you to work through the tangled web of emotions that you are currently feeling. Taking care of your emotional needs will help you to be able to be calm, present, and seemingly unruffled when your children are in your care. It will also help you to work through the practical details of your divorce so that you can make important decisions with a clear mind and vision for your future.
If you are going through a divorce, let an experienced Longview divorce attorney take care of all of the details so that you can focus on taking care of yourself and your family. Schedule a free consultation with East Texas divorce attorney Alex Tyra today. Call our Longview office at (903) 753-7499, or submit an online contact form through our law firm website.